LOVE AT FIRST SWIPE

So, how did you two meet?” A question historically answered with longwinded, romantic tales of sinking ships and letter exchanges during the war. One has to sympathise for us poor millennials and our stories of “Well, we just kind of swiped right on each other on Tinder then got drunk and hooked up”. Dating apps, while streamlining the dating process, have robbed an entire generation of their Disney love at first sight fantasies.

I met my partner, yes “partner” – the term only reserved for those willing to buy furniture together but not put a ring on it, on Tinder. We were both drawn to each other’s choice in casual, arty – and only slightly sexy – photo selection. You have to hand it to gay men; we really know how to put together our dating profiles. The careful selection of images in the photo gallery alone could land us in a top curator position at any national gallery. Straight men take note! Your low-res fishing trip photos, where you’ve clearly cropped your ex-girlfriend out, will not cut it in 2021. 

I would be lying to myself if I didn’t confess that there was a small part of me that wishes our “how did you two meet?” story had a little more of the Spielberg flare to it. I do consider myself blessed that we didn’t meet on Grindr, however. I’ve always struggled to picture how the gays will sit down to their grandchild and tell the story of how “Poppa saw a picture of Gramp’s naked torso online, and they decided to meet for a no-strings-attached hook-up”.

But maybe it’s time we let go of the Disney love at first sight fantasy altogether. If High School Stage Challenges in the early 2000s have taught us anything, it’s that fairy tales are nothing like real life. And maybe it’s not the encounter of laying eyes on your soul mate for the first time that is truly romantic. Maybe it’s in the mundane, day-to-day commitment to one another; the deliveries of coffee to bed in the morning, the sacrifice to cut dairy out of your diet too in solidarity, the tedious lunches with members of their extended family. It is these gestures that tell the grandest, most heartfelt stories of true love.